If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let's all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives.

Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC



Fighting for peace is like
Screwing for virginity.

The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO






At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry.

Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ



=0 A

It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been anywhere.

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ



If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.

Revolution Books
New York , New York ..



If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC



Express Lane:
Five beers or less

Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ



You're too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA



No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA



~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You're going to have trouble with it

Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX


0A

&n bsp;&n bsp;&n bsp;&n bsp;&n bsp;

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance


Smart man + dumb woman = affair


Dumb man + smart woman = marriage


Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


______________________________
;


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


A successful woman is one who can find such a man…

_____________________________


_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE

FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART SOMEONE WHOLIKES A GOOD LAUGH

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