I'm new to this I'm reaching out for Help, Guidance, Support

I've been thru so much in the last several yrs… I'm just going to make it as short as possible….

I've lost my father who was my best friend, my mother has never been there for me which lead us to not even talking (I tired several times), I had two affairs, my only child (son 20 yrs old), him and I had an argument in Oct 2010 he hasn't talked to me since, he was the one person I thought would never leave me, since then he had a child of his own, I wrote him a letter apologizing and hoping he would call me, he never… In October 2010 my husband and I split up we both startied dating I started dating a guy who had been a friend of mine for 20 yrs I got to know a side of him that was unbelievable I fell in love with him over the last few months my husband and I started talking only because I was jealous of the woman he was dating upset cuz this woman was living my life … I caused them to break up once that happened my husband started trying to control me again telling me he would tell his lawyer he would want everything sold (we own a business) … I thought if I would get my husband to reason with me and let him realize we need to quit being bitter to one another and move on … He started going to couseling and even agreed that we need to think of the present and quit livng in the past … He is actually trying to change and be a better person I'm actually seeing a side of him that I always wanted… so now I'm confused I don't know if it's really to late for us and if I just think I'm in love with the guy I was dating cuz I wanted to feel loved… I just don't know how to feel… I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of always being depressed (for many yrs) …. I just want somene to help me, to listen to me, to help me find out who I really am

4 Comments
  1. OopsDoomed 11 years ago

    Welcome. It seems like you are really looking to make a change and I am sure you will find support here from people who can help you. I don't have much experience with this, but sometimes people do just need a break from each other, jealousy is a powerful motivator and brings emotions to the forefront which have often been concealed or absent in our lives. Sometimes people do change from their old habits and destructive ways of thinking, but then again sometimes they just recognize the change you want to see and act whatever way they need to, to show you that they are worth getting back. There is a huge difference between the person who courts you and the person you end up with. It is up to you to decide  though if he has always had the personality you desire but has buried or fallen away from it, or if he is just manipulating your emotions just to try to pull you away from this other man. He might be attempting to get back at you by trying to ruin your chances with the one who really is in love with you. I am sure you can work things out with him financially. It is a good sign that he wants to live in the present. If I were you I would downplay this new relationship as much as possible and resist giving in to your emotional responses no matter how he tries to goad you.

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  2. Stacmmc 11 years ago

    yeah well it doesn't seem like that anymore when all I do is cry and ask god y what have I done so wrong what did I do that I deserve this

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  3. Stacmmc 11 years ago

    yeah well it doesn't seem like that anymore when all I do is cry and ask god y what have I done so wrong what did I do that I deserve this

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  4. Stacmmc 11 years ago

    i just want everything to be okay I just want the crying and the pain to go away it's killing me I sit alone when I do go somewhere I just sit and stare into another world I feel like a goof … I've accomplished so much in my life and I let all my toys, vacations, and all the material things I could ever want get the best of me so here I am 42 yrs old I have everything I've always wanted except NORMAL, a NORMAL LIFE

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