I am so happy I found this site, for 7 years I have lived in complete fear, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I have been so lonely because I can not have a relationship because of what turns out to be OCD.
This may be weird but I am so happy I found out I have OCD. Everything makes so much more sense now! Now I know I am not crazy or strange, I know it is not my fault, I know that it is something that is wrong with me that it is not me, as a person. I don't have to blame myself and doubt myself.
Reading things on this site gives me so much hope.
I am still so scared though, I have never told anyone about my real problems. I have told my mom and a counselor that I was experiencing anxiety- but I made it sound just like generalized anxiety disorder because I didn't know that you could have OCD with just pure obsessions, and I didn't know that the things I was worrying about were caused by OCD. I thought I was a freak. I don't know how to tell my mom about it. The doctor, I am not too worried about at the moment, for the most part they understand it, but my mom- how do you tell your mom that you have these sexual content obsessions- how does anyone understand that unless they have experienced it? I know she will try to understand but I am so afraid that at the back of her mind she will think I am gay or that I am a pedophile or that I am a horrible twisted person.
but I am going to try to just celebrate the fact that I no longer have to live doubting myself…. of course, until my next attack… but at least I know what it is.