I am so happy I found this site, for 7 years I have lived in complete fear, I had no idea what was wrong with me.  I have been so lonely because I can not have a relationship because of what turns out to be OCD. 

This may be weird but I am so happy I found out I have OCD.  Everything makes so much more sense now!  Now I know I am not crazy or strange, I know it is not my fault, I know that it is something that is wrong with me that it is not me, as a person.  I don't have to blame myself and doubt myself. 

Reading things on this site gives me so much hope. 

I am still so scared though, I have never told anyone about my real problems.  I have told my mom and a counselor that I was experiencing anxiety- but I made it sound just like generalized anxiety disorder because I didn't know that you could have OCD with just pure obsessions, and I didn't know that the things I was worrying about were caused by OCD.  I thought I was a freak.   I don't know how to tell my mom about it.  The doctor, I am not too worried about at the moment, for the most part they understand it, but my mom- how do you tell your mom that you have these sexual content obsessions- how does anyone understand that unless they have experienced it?  I know she will try to understand but I am so afraid that at the back of her mind she will think I am gay or that I am a pedophile or that I am a horrible twisted person. 

but I am going to try to just celebrate the fact that I no longer have to live doubting myself…. of course, until my next attack…  but at least I know what it is. 

4 Comments
  1. Ditto 13 years ago

    Welcome to the tribe..Im glad you found it.I think if you just speak with your therapist about your fears of telling your Mom then maybe one day you will be able to tell her.If your not comfortable telling her now then wait.Maybe a book for her to read about would help??Well,glad you are here.Come to the chat sometime…

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  2. Mono1115 13 years ago

    Welcome to the tribe! I can relate, I have known I have OCD for three years now and I still can't tell my parents what my obsessions are about, because they're sexual in nature.  Well, some of 'em.  Whenever I start obsessing, sometimes it just helps to remember all the people I've met here and that I'm not alone.

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  3. Aingeal 13 years ago

    Like you I was happy to be diagnosed with OCD – finally it had a name and also proven treatments. I was also delighted I found this site because the people on here never cease to amaze me with their strenght and that they feel they can trust each other. Welcome to the site, I hope it helps you as much as it does all of us.

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  4. OCDKara 13 years ago

    Welcome to the site and congratulations on all that you've accomplished already in your fight against OCD. 

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