Where do I start? I feel Like eventually I'm going to lose everything I hold dear. Latley I don't even know what those things are either. I've already lost so much in my life, such as my dad leaving my mom, Getting to love my first step-dad then him leaving, Recently my Grandpa, GreatGrandma, Houses I've lived in, Friends I've grown love, Jobs. I think in my logical mind that this is due to many different factors, not just me. Still I seem to feel I could do better, Try harder. Yet I always seem to fall short. Just tonight My current Step-dad Told me could potentually be kick out of my house because of a few sloppy habits. I know they are not that hard to do and I should be able to do it flawlessly everytime yet I seem to get caught up in my head day after day and I forget little things because I'm trying to find myself. Yet these are the things people seem to care about the most. I just need Love. I don't know where to find it Yet I see it everywhere. I just can't find the love that belongs to me. Maybe I'm just meant to suffer from myself to learn a greater lesson. I hold onto some hope of this love finding me so I can feel at home. The same feeling I haven't felt in so long. I feel so worthless. I can't even keep my family together. With all this wheighing on my I'm suposse to function normally and become a replaceable robot getting a job and making money. God how I hate money. I need someone to hear me for real not the sypathetic at the edge listening real Listining. But how am I to expect anyone else to listen to me if I can't even have the energy to do so myself. So lost. All I have is my Guitar and My mom. I play for my Jazz Band at the College I go to. I love it! I feel Like I'm losing my mother to this guy she is married to. She dosen't even act like herself around him, What kind of example does that set? So confused. I just need releif from…Everything. I see so much Beautie and I try hard to share it, Yet people seem to not want to take a few seconds to see it. Am I the only one whom sees it? Am I the only one whom can See it? I've never Writen like this before so forgive my spelling and grammer. I just feel this is one way I could find some real support. Thanks for reading this if you do I know you don't have to But I thank you for taking your time.