I finally found out the meaning of being "Fickle". In January I was totally stresed out about being unemployed. I was having numerous panic attacks, and experiencing anxiety on a daily basis.Financial disaster was looming, and this was causing my marriage and family to suffer tremendously. The only good thing that came out of it was discovering the Anxiety Tribe family.
Now, it has been one month sinse I finally got a job. I was happy to be finally working and at first I went in each morning with a bright outlook. But, something is changing. I keep thinking how nice it was to be at home. I rediscovered the challenges that exist at a workplace. Having to deal with People. People who are basically screwed up. Mean even. The game playing. The dishonesty and the humiliation. Am I starting to have social phobias? You bet your A$$ I am. I want to go to work and just do my job and go home. I do not want to have to communicate with the a$$holes at work. But, I have too.
The fickle part of it all is that now I wish I could be at home again. It is messing with my mind. I keep saying my "Gratitude Prayer over and over again and it is not effective. Right when I think I am going to start and the acute anxiety/panic attacks again I remembered my family at Anxiety Tribe.
I have neglected you. Not forsaken but taken for granted. Right when I start doing better ,I stopped being a productive member of this group. Talk about a splash of cold water in the face. I have awakened. I am back, and will try to make it a point to visit more often. You see, all of you really helped me through the rough part and I am grateful for that.
Thank you all for being here…