By Matthew Snyder, Clinical Director, Journey Hillside Tarzana

Very few of us are going to be forthcoming in admitting our problems or shortcomings. People are groomed to downplay flaws or deny anything that hints at weakness. Even if you suspect, or even know, you have a drinking problem, chances are you diminish its severity in your own mind.

Eventually, though, there is a day of reckoning when you can no longer deny your alcoholism. Maybe it’s a DUI arrest, or a second DUI, that snaps you into reality. Possibly you have begun to suffer from health problems related to the alcohol addiction, or have lost a job, a marriage, or a best friend. These are the types of wake-up calls that make you realize your drinking habits are worse than you’d thought, and that you need help.

Let’s explore the various ways we might negate the clear evidence of an alcohol use disorder. That is, until the fateful day arrives when you find yourself admitting the alcohol problem, and then wondering what to do about it.

The High Functioning Alcoholic

People each handle their alcohol consumption in different ways. The way each person’s system metabolizes alcohol is unique, which means that some are very sensitive to the effects of alcohol while others can consume large amounts of alcohol and never appear to be intoxicated. The latter is referred to as a high-functioning alcoholic.

A high-functioning alcoholic is quite committed to hiding their alcoholism from family members, colleagues, and friends. If someone does approach them expressing their concern about the drinking, that person will likely be met with a flat denial. A denial is a tool commonly used by alcoholics to protect their reputation or career, or from appearing to be weak and not in control.

Denial

It is never easy to admit that we might have a drinking problem. By denying there is a problem, people who employ this defense mechanism can continue on as usual. In fact, the person might even express hostility for being called out about their alcohol problem.

Some common examples of denial might include:

• “You’re the one with the problem.” Gaslighting is a tactic used to shift the focus back onto the person showing concern. By making it seem like they are the one with the problem they can deflect attention away from their own behavior.
• “I am not an alcoholic.” Alcoholics often flatly deny they have a drinking problem. They may point to all the ways they are functioning quite well in daily life.
• “I can quit anytime.” Another common tactic is claiming they are in control of their drinking and can quit whenever they want.
• “I am not hurting anyone.” This “my body, my choice” type response is based on their belief that they have a right to drink, and that their drinking is only impacting their own body and life.

9 Revealing Signs of Alcoholism

If you are wondering how bad your alcoholism might be, here are some common signs that can give you an idea. The more of these items you recognize in yourself, the more severe your alcohol use disorder is:

• Can’t control your drinking. You might actually want to cut back on your alcohol consumption, but simply can’t. There seems to be no shut off valve, as the drinking becomes compulsive.
• Fixated on drinking. You might find yourself more and more obsessed about making plans to drink, and having enough alcohol on hand.
• You experience blackouts. When you engage in heavy drinking you may experience a total loss of memory of the events that took place the night before.
• Tolerance increases. As the disease progresses you will become more tolerant to the effects of alcohol. This causes you to increase your alcohol consumption in hopes of experiencing the initial effects.
• Ignoring responsibilities. As your drinking escalates, you may begin neglecting obligations at home or at work. Work performance suffers, bills go unpaid, kids are not picked up from school, etc.
• Dishonesty. You might find yourself lying about how much you drink, hiding alcohol around the house, at work, or in the car. You might steal money to buy alcohol, or even steal the alcohol from a store.
• Experiencing money problems. Excessive drinking can lead to financial problems that could stem from a job loss or legal expenses associated with a DUI.
• Negative impact on relationships. Both personal and professional relationships begin to suffer, as the drinking takes center stage in your life.
• Withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms, such as hand tremors, nausea, headache, or fatigue, may emerge when the effects of the alcohol wear off. This is a sign of chemical dependency.

Approaching Recovery for Alcoholism

When you reach the point when you realize you are in need of help for an alcohol problem, you will need to determine whether you should enroll in outpatient rehab or a residential treatment program. This decision is mostly based on the severity of the alcohol problem. Outpatient treatment is best reserved for mild or emerging alcohol use disorder.

Treatment for overcoming alcoholism has multiple dimensions. Therapy is the backbone of addiction treatment, as it is through therapy that you learn new ways of thinking and responding when facing stressors and triggers. Psychotherapy sessions may involve participating in a variety of therapies:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Dialectical behavior therapy
• Contingency management
• Motivational enhancement therapy

Peer group sessions play a significant role in addiction recovery programs, as well as in aftercare actions. Participating in these group sessions can provide much needed peer support, as well as the ability to learn new coping skills and communication techniques.

In addition to therapy, you will participate in a medley of therapeutic activities, such as 12-step programming, psychosocial education, life skills, relapse prevention planning, and holistic activities. Recovery success begins with the honest admission that you have an alcohol use disorder and are in need some help to battle it.

About the Author

Matthew Snyder is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Clinical Director of Journey Hillside Tarzana. He is a graduate of the University of California, Santa Cruz, where he completed his B.A in Psychology, and was awarded Honors in the Psychology Major. He is also a graduate of Pepperdine University, where he earned his Masters in Clinical Psychology. His approach to treatment and program development is to help clients feel less shame, cultivate hope and develop skills helpful to a new life of recovery. He has experience across multiple settings with diverse populations and is valued most for his authenticity, empathy, passion, and warmth.