I just moved back home from Tampa FL. I am srtuggeling with the meetings here in Detroit. I left Detroit to get away from the wet faces of my addiction,and yet when I came home I have found myself right in the mix of them all. I left Detroit 9 months into my program and was only attending mettings and not using. The year and a half I spent in Tampa has really got me on the right road to my recovery.
While in Tampa I was homeless, jobless and have made it through a relationship,and I managed to stay clean. When I first got there I struggled with the meetings as well. They were not like the ones at home. They dont read out of the books and not everyone got to share. Those were some of my reasons for not liking the meetings there.
While down there I landed in a half way house. And that was the best thing for my recovery and my situation while there. The ppl there helped me fan the flames of my recovery and really get things going. I actually learned about the spiritual principles that are talked about so much. I heard about them here in Detroit but never found out what they actually werte till I got to Tampa. I managed to stay clean through some ruff times in Tampa.
Now here is my dilema for real real. When in Tampa I would ride a mountian bike almost 50 miles a day for my job hunting and my meetings. Now that im back home and have the support of my family I cant find my way into a meeting. I have been to like three meetings since i have been home. I am not struggeling to get threre I am struggeling with the type of message that is being brought to the tables. H we read from the basic text at everymeeting and the tables are on there own for discussion on the topic that was read.
I cant keep an open mind through out the meeting like im suppoesed to. i have not called my sponsor (who lives in tampa) in almost 2 weeks. the only thing i have done is really concintrate on my step work. I'm in the middle of my forth step and moving forward with that with out a problem.but i cant sit still in a meeting, nor can I even try and get what i may need from the meeting itself..
Nothing for nothing Ihave a real real connection with my highr power and can look back on my past year and a half in Tampa and know he was there for me in every way possable. As long as I dont use and pray about this I'm sure I'll get through it. I just have a major malfunction with change. I hate is as most addicts do…..
In closing, if u read this do me a favor and pray for me. and remember take it one day at a time and keep it simple