I'm recently separated and dealing with a lot of pain and anger towards my soon to be ex-spouse. My ex-husband of 12 years posted on facebook how he's looking forward to new memories he's going to make when he starts his new life. I think I was most upset about how many people liked his comment, including his sisters and a woman he's been texting a lot lately that he cheated on me with a few years back. He tells me this girl from the past means nothing to him and it's just about sex. What hurts is that at one point he tried to make us friends. I was oblivious at the time he was actually sleeping with her. Personally I'd love to knock her out if I ever see her again, but I'm smart enough not to.
Why is it when people get divorced the men are seen as being super dad and get sympathy from other women they want to date. While on the other hand some men might look at the single mother and see children as baggage they don't want to take on. Perhaps my perception is off, but I haven't seen many positive examples to disprove my thoughts. They are afterall just thoughts and feelings that I have from my perspective.
I understand I am a single mother, but it is depressing. I've been hurt very badly multiple times in my marriage and don't plan on entering another relationship until I can love myself again. It is the thought that he has moved on so quickly that hurts the most, the fact that losing me doesn't seem to bother to him. The hardest part for me is letting go of all the pain and anger I feel towards him. I want to feel like my old self again, rediculously happy with my life.
Unfortunately I have only begun to hit the tip of the iceberg of my issues with him. I'm still currently living with him. Neither of us can afford to live alone and while we're waiting for the divorce to go through we're trying to clear some of our accumulated debt. Trying to remain "friends" through this whole thing is a lot harder than I thought. I don't think he realizes just how much pain I am in just being around him. When I try to communicate anything with him I feel like I get a verbal beat down like everything that has happened is my fault. I know I need to get out, I can see that fact very clearly, but I can't be in a rush so that I don't get screwed. For once I've got to stand my ground, which isn't easy since I've always been the one to back down because I hate conflict.
Sonne,
I hope you don't make the decision to move to be with a guy who only care about himself. From my own personal experience, don't do it. I moved my boys from PA to Phoenix to have a fresh start with him and our boys. It didn't work out, he didn't change his ways and I have no local family to turn to. Be smart and trust yourself on this one.
Thanks for the posts. It is nice to have a place to vent. And I too am a believer in Karma. And I have seen it work on many occasions. I don't know how much of a coincidence it was that my ex got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes shortly after he started cheating on me. Curious thing?
Thanks for the support with your posts.
Hello,
I am new to this site so I wanted to tell you that it takes time to get over someone as I am sure you know. I first became depressed after my 2nd serious relationship "girlfriend" cheated on me and left me for that woman. Since then I have been battling with depression. I am so sorry that you are going through what you are going through and to be a single mom must be really tough. If I were you I would not read facebook. I would be bigger than him and just ignore him. Concentrate on yourself and your children. When 2 people serarate it really causes a lot of grief for the children involved. He is an asshole for throwing all his cheating and talking about his new memories in your face. You need not even look at facebook because it will only make you angrier. If that is you in the pic, I must say you are very attractive, and I am sure you won't have trouble finding love in the future. If you need someone to talk to please know you can lean on me. Take care, and it is his loss not yours!