it's been quite a week!! monday- wednesday was awful! i was sleep deprived, i didn't work so i was hanging around the house getting more and more depressed. i went to see my friend on monday evening who is getting married next weekend which cheered me up temporarily. but i got home and didn't sleep all night, i got about an hour and a half sleep around 6am..and got up at 9am to see my therapist. i told her i felt fragile..she stomped all over me i felt ten times worse!!

i felt awful for the whole day, i went to my boyfriends in the afternoon, tried to cheer myself up..he was ill so i spent most of my time looking after him, i came home on wednesday feeling low. i saw my doctor at 4pm that afternoon..she was lovely..first person who'd been nice to me since this new low :/

i lurked around my house the rest of the evening..and on friday i slept until 2pm!!!! i haven't done that in years!! but i felt dreadful coz i'd wasted half the day. i couldn't find the motivation to get of the house so i lurked around feeling sorry for myself. i got a call from work asking me to come in at 4pm so i got dressed and managed to get out..

i felt abit better after doing a 4 hour shift..on saturday i worked 7 hours with a collegue (my new friend 😀 )and felt abit better, i went to the gym and ran for the first time in weeks which felt great!! then i was home alone so i just chilled in the house..went to work sunday (today) to do a 5 hour shift, ended up doing 10 hours..im annoyed i didn't get to the gym OR finish my paperwork. but its ok-ish coz i worked a long day and i got 2 extra days this week..i need this big paycheck before i move out..

anyway i really apologise the the 'diary rant' i just had to vent it out..!!!! aaah 🙂

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