Hello everyone first time writing a blog….Jusf want to share my story…..On March 7th I was devastated!…I went to the health department because something wasn't right down there…I had to many bumps down there so went and explain to the nurse about what was going on,so checked me and told me I have Genital Warts….So right there Im a little upset…..So she asked me while I'm here would you like to get HIV tested I paused a little and then I said why not I'm here already I would like to get everything done so she said ok…..Went into another room to draw blood then she said wait an half an hour for your results went to the store and all I wasn't worried….so came back in and sat for a little then heard my name took me in the back to read me my results and told me I was H I V POSITIVE….I told that lady you are a liar she said I wouldn't lie to you,she had to turn her screen to me to let me see it…ad there it was In BIG BOLD RED LETTERS…..My whole world came crumbling down I said No who is going to take care of my kids!!….I cried and cried and say screaming no this is not happening to me!!……I was so ANGRY with myself I said Omg I'm going todie…..Then the lady said You are not going to did I said how can you say that and you are not infected….she said yes I am I had it for 10Years!! and I'm still here!…Telling me the meds they have now you can live a long time!….It's no cure today but we have meds that make us live a long time…ect…so I was in there fir with here about 2hours cause I was numb and asking me all these questions about my partners which I had 3 at a time. so I went to 2 of them and told them my situation I cried about that,but I had to do it so I told them you guys haven to get tested they did on the same day came back negative I was like yes…..So right there I had an idea who it was so I called him and told him what was going on with me and I paused cause I was crying again…do I said you need to get tested and right off the back he was silent….I said hello did you hear me and he ssid I heard you….He said he will go and when he do he will let me know…..I didnt hear from him no more after that!…Then I texted him and said why you not responding to none of my text..then he replied and said I don't care what you have I want to be with you!…..Im like go get tested cause I need to know who gave it to me…..Again didn't hear from him for a couple of months….Now mind you Im in this by myself family don't know I recently told my sis but that will be it!….I can't tell the rest of my family Specially my mother!….But recently he contacted me (the Guy I didn't hear from) and asked me how am I and the kids acting like nothing happen . So I told him we need to talk dont you think so?..he was like yes so when can we meet up and he said he will let me know……Again didn't hear from him…mind you we grew up together I knew him for years. and to tell you he is a married man je just got married over the summer….But how I feel now Im not upset cause maybe I don't talk about it and when I do get that chance to ask him like….Are Yoi hiv positive and if you knew this (which I think he did)….How can you do this to me and you know I have kids!!!who in there right mind would do this to someone!!…AND how to forgive him for this??… Now I'm out of my mother's apartment and HASA provided me an apartment for me and my kids which I didnt have no privacy like social workers coming to do a home visit…so I had to go and now I'm ok taking my meds everyday which is Atripla and just want to be here for my kids….Sorry if I misspelled any wrds just trying to get it out my system….feel a little better:)…And I give my Condolences to the fam in Conn…my heart is with you…May god bless you!

4 Comments
  1. lexie69 10 years ago

    Thanks for your honest intro..I can't imagine how you must be feeling atm but my partner is on Atripla and he is going great on it!! Really…it's true that these day's the meds are excellent…You have come to the right place though as their is plenty of support…and really encouraging people who lead lives to the full!! 

     

    It's very difficult to sort out a relationship with someone while you are going through these feelings…best to get your head around it all first…like you say 'getting the emotions down on paper really helps sometimes..

     

    Take great care of yourself….Many Prayers and thoughts..Lexie 

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  2. sagitaire 10 years ago

    You will be ok you are in the right place some very good ppl.here with so good info……..take care of yourself

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  3. myahluv 10 years ago

    I went thru the same thing.  It is really hard to understand how someone can do that to you.  If not even you to your children.  You cant hold on to that because you will never get or accept an answer.

    Just make sure that emotionally you have support.  I chose to tell my family and they shocked me with a ton of support.

     

    Good luck!

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  4. metropcs 10 years ago

    Thank you all for your support I reallly appreciate it!

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