a therapist said i should work things out with people in my relationships instead of disconnecting from them when i get hints that i should go away. because i read people in a skewed way and see bad things and hints when they arent there, apparently. so i am just doomed.also because i am not worth working things out with to people. its people who drop me when i attempt to fix a friendship that is worth far more to me then it is to them.

i'm confident that i am more damaged and miserable then a molestation/rape victim and i'd be willing to put that to the test if there was one. if anybody cared or if it mattered in the slightest. but then would a homeless elderly man beat me? if he was intelligent and sane enough to challenge me i would accept knowing i would lose. especially if he was once full of potential and didn't deserve what happened to him. he'd have to be intelligent though. don't be dumb and homeless. a dumb homeless would maybe be happier though and would produce a lower score. no one will care how miserable you are if you are homeless and ugly and old. i think that's just how our brains work and there's no helping it. there arent any really attractive homeless people unless they are psychotic or choose that lifestyle. you can choose to be homeless if youre really attractive because people will see you and wont let you stay homeless. you will find places to stay. if your ugly it's not as workable, youd have to be really really charming. i think you can get by, and have a decent life with nothing but good looks. it's like 50% of life.

once somebody (male) commented and then deleted it when they visited my page and saw i wasnt my profile picture. i think thats really really really really really really (not) funny.