Too sad, and tired to say much…  the day didn’t really go as planned.  Charlie wanted to lay around the apartment all day.  I couldn’t get anything done, or coax him into going anywhere.  He’s depressive, and he likes to sleep a lot when he doesn’t work.  Today he slept a whole lot.  He agreed to come with, when I go to the shrink so he can tell the shrink what he’s observed in my behavior.  That worries me, because he’s never told me everything that he sees in my behavior.  He says he doesn’t think I’m crazy, but he used to say a lot of things.  He used to say he trusted me, and I now know that was a lie.  He suspected me of cheating with Quinn way before I ever did.  Maybe, he was less interested because he thought I was cheating.  So, after a while…  his lack of interest drives me to have an affair.  Some people get real high and mighty when they find out I cheated on my husband.  It’s like…  come on…  he stopped reaching for me two years into our marriage.  He knew I was hypersexual, and impulsive.  I begged him, way back when, not to let this part of our thing die.  I told him when intimacy leaves, it usually goes somewhere else.  He always said the right things, and changed nothing.  I tried to be patient, and to make it work, but too much time went by without him wanting me.  I was lonely.  I felt ugly, and old, and fat.  Then…  Quinn wanted me.  And, now, he’s gone, because I couldn’t keep things kosher between us.  I’m the married one.  I should’ve been the strong one.  The one to say, "Quinn, no, we can’t."  But, when I’d say something like that, he’d ignore me, and I’d let him.  I could’ve stopped him easily enough.  It;s not like he was making me do anything.  No enemy could mess up my life as badly as I have.  Freaking A….