I have not written alot in here as you can tell.

Things really do come to light and things begin to change for the good, if you pray , give it up to god, and work the steps and do what is suggested to you. I did not do any steps for the first 15 months or so of being clean and sober. Then one day I finally had that awakening, they say you will get. I finally stopped sitting in meeting , not paying attention, I listened, took a little of each ones story with me, began to feel spiritual again. I had lost faith long ago. But I also blamed everone else for my problems and would not take help that was offered.

 Each time I go into the rooms of AA, I feel more spiritual and if having a bad day, usually I hear what I need and then I pray for god to take it away.

 I have been parying alot lately, for guidance, have gave it to god. I prayed that someday, when time was right, I would hear from my youngest daughter , as I had already wrItten to her several times , so she knew I was ready, but question was she. But yesterday, I get phonecall from her stepmom, she was for the first time in years , so nice to me, and wanted to know if I wanted Karas cell number! Omg, I know now that there is something greater then me, and god is working for me, to stay on right path, and stay clean and sober, If I do the footwork that is.

  So I got the number, and after I hung up, all kinds of emotions went through me. I was scared, nervous, happy, excited all at once. I walked around with phone in one hand , number in other. Would begin to dial and chicken out. What if she really does not want to talk to me. I have not seen her since she was almost 7, and she just turned 19 , on december 14th. I finally called, and left voice message. After couple hours of wondering if she even call back, she did! OMG, my heart raced, was very happy!

 We talked for bit, I did not bring up past stuff between her dad and I, only talked of today!

  I never thought I would get this chance again. Never thought she would forgive me. She even wants to come here to Washington sometime. She has lots family here and I was so happy when she said that.

 I was on biggest pity pot for may years, walked around with a void in me, that my ex made bigger , by putting a wedge between her and I . But then I did have part in that too and am realizing that now,

 But I now know that being spiritual and praying, each day and each nightis so important to my recovery.

 Never thought I would be at this point, I struggled with GOD concept for long long time.

 But since I been praying I am seeing little things happen in my life, every day. With prayer and AA and working the steps

  THING WILL GET BETTER, ONE DAY AT TIME.        

                       KATHLEEN Smile

FORGIVE ANY TYPOS LOL

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