I’ve been in and out of the hospital for like a year now.  I got beat up and got my head caved in I guess and now have brain trama.  I’m now living in a group home and it sucks.  Cuz I used to be suicidal, they wont let me wear clothes at the home, I have to wear a paper gown and my bed has paper sheets and blanket.  Just so I won’t hang myself again. The people who live here are like seriously fucked up.  One guy was shot in the head, one guy got beat with a baseball bat, a girl who was in  a car crash and a girl  who was thrown off her bike and hit her head on the curb.  The 2 guys are like in comas, never gonna wake up. The girl from the bike is in a wheel chair and the girl from the car crash, she is able to walk and talk and  stuff, just like can’t remember shit,  her face is all fucked up, cuts and scars and stuff.  They tell me I’m the lucky one.  Fuckers…try my life and tell me how lucky I am.

I used to cut, it helped me so much deal with shit.  Now I can’t cuz they check. Cuz of my brain damage, I can’t do drugs or hit myself.  So the only thing I can do to calm down and deal with stress is hook up with guys.  I ditched class a bit early cuz I was feeling shitty and stressed.  I went down the street by the motels and hooked up with a couple of  guys.  It’s one place I’m able to just chill, not be pressured, and I get to make a bit of money too.  The guys are nice to me, and they respect me.  I’m leaving and one of the counselors from school sees me and reports me to the home.  They called my case worker, case manager and therapist.  Now idk what to do or what is gonna happen.  Why cant people just mind their own biz.