Sometimes blogs help me feel better, sometimes they don’t . I hope this one will just help me to get my feelings out there.

For the past three days I have had this nagging feeling that something is wrong with someone I care about. That something bad was going to happen. Well about three days ago, I got an email from a friend of the family, it was sent out to all our family plus lots of other people, and it was an update on his life. Now he has cancer but he has been thru lots of treatments and we all believed he was going to pull thru. I ignored this email for two days until last night I figured oh what the heck ill read it, i just assumed it was good news. The email was not written by him but by his parents. He is dying and there is nothing more the doctors can do. He sleeps most of the day and when he is awake it doesn’t really seem like he is there. They say he is very peaceful and that he knows it is his time to die. They don’t expect him to live much longer, unless a miracle occurs and it has already been a miracle that he has lived this long.

Nobody deals well with death, I believe. But I am a freakin wreck when it comes to people I care about dying. I’ve already lost one friend of our family to cancer, he was only nine years old. I’ve lost my Grandpa to a stroke. They were all good, wonderful human beings. And now they are gone. Every death takes a piece of my heart. And I wonder how a God who claims to be loving and almighty only takes the righteous? But then on the other hand I feel happy that those that I love didn’t have to suffer forever. That they are with God now, and there pain is gone. And I should feel lucky to have had these people in my life for as long as I have. And I am. I am glad to have known these wonderful, God-loving, trusting, amazing people. I just wish they didn’t have to die. 🙁