HI Everyone, I seriously need some immediate help if anyone can. My boyfriend and I had been doing good, after being unemployed for several months he recently decided he wants to enroll in Massage Therapy school. I was super excited and I congratulated him and I have been the main source if not only support that he has. His family, however keeps bursting his bubble by asking questions about the program. Not once have I ever heard them say "congratulations, son" or "i'm proud of you". Like I said, I'm the main if not only source of support he has. This has really taken a toll on him. Just this past weekend I spent a lot of money on this Halloween costume he was excited about which left me broke. He felt really guilty about it, and he felt bad for "not pulling his weight" with the bills and groceries. No matter what I tell him, he still feels like crap. His self esteem took a huge blow last week when he started watching a Cardinals Play offs game before I got home and he saw my ex pitching. That really started this whole thing off. He feels like he isn't doing anything with his life, that he's not worth anything & that he'll "never be as good" as my ex. No matter what I try to do to calm him down it's just in one ear, out the other. Well, he's been like this all weekend but yesterday it really blew over when i was broke after buying groceries for us (since I now live with him). Today, he seemed alittle upset and the way he was texting sounded kind of funny so i asked if he had dranken any beer (which I strictly told him NOT to because I know he only drinks when he's upset). well his drunken attitude (which i absolutely HATE with a passion because I know it's not him) got upset with me for questioning his motives. I was asking him the normal questions a therapist would ask like "why do you feel the need to drink when you're upset" and "is that the only way you feel you can vent your emotions"? That set him off. He said he's upset, he's frustrated with his life and that everyone would be better off if he just died. I feel SOOO worried and scared for him because he said he is so close to the edge he just wants to end it all. He's going over to a friend's house (whom I get along great with, his wife & I used towork together) but all they do when he goes over is get drunk. When I told him I didn't want him drinking any more than he already has he got upset and said that he's grown man and can do whatever he wants if he chooses to do so, which in all logic is true, but I wasn't bossing him around. I know he doesn't eat if I don't feed him, and he already has an ulcer so I'm just worried about him drinking too much and eating too little and bleeding to death internally should it get that bad. I worry about him because I CARE but when he gets in these episodes he doesn't see that. He's too busy looking down in his self pity that he doesn't realize what he puts me through.My voice cracked for the way he was talking to me and he said that nothing has to do with me, that it's all HIS problem. Well, every since I came into his life his family (and friends) have been telling me that they have seen an huge difference in him for the better but with all of the things I see behind closed doors I am so confused as to whether he's putting up a front for them or if I've really impacted him enough. I guess I feel that if I supposedly make him so happy and have improved his general life quality then why does he still feel this way? I am so worried and scared right now, I even cancelled my Zumba class to go home and wait for him. Can someone PLEASE help me, I don't know what to say to him when he gets home or how to handle this at all. This is the first time I have ever had this experience. I love him soo much I just couldn't imagine my life without him, much less watch him self destruct and not do anything about it. I feel so helpless. Please, advice anyone?


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