I get an idea in my head and it won\'t go away. As I am so indecisive the thoughts don\'t go away because I never get to the yes/no part. Is anybody else so indecisive? I don\'t know if this is part of the anxiety I guess it is. I usually get annoyed and say to my boyfriend you decide please and he knows I\'ll get super stressed if he doesn\'t so he usually does.

 

 

Well this is no where near a big decision but I have been thinking about dying my hair blonde lol. I know it could be a disaster but I can\'t get it out of my head. My boyfriend wont decide this for me which is right ofc but aghhhhhh!!! It\'s not even a big deal, I\'m so stupid.

 

In other news, handed up my dissertation, had my last ever class :). I have one other assignment to worry about and exams. I know that I can do them but I probably won\'t think that way tomorrow :(. I hate this anxiety. I\'d love to be able to handle things without all the panic. Like worry is good I know but I just wish it wasn\'t so disproportionate to the problem :(.

 

I have my second appointment at the doctor tomorrow, I\'m terrified. The last time I went there I got really depressed and felt sick. I felt like he didn\'t take me seriously and also I felt stupid as I had to talk to a trainee gp before him and then them both together. If I can be brave tomorrow I\'m gonna try tell them I only want to talk to one person. I don\'t like talking to people as it is and it was hard enough to go in there and say all that stuff. I almost cried it was embarrassing and humiliating.

 

I\'m not sure what I want out of the visit, I guess I\'d like to see someone to talk to. The waiting lists are probably so long though for people on the medical card :(.

 

I hope that things work out and they probably will but I guess that\'ll never actually go into my head and into my thoughts.

4 Comments
  1. duchamp 10 years ago

    Can you see a different doctor? I was seeing a crap one for ages and after that I had to see someone else, telling someone else was hard but my word he was amazing, he listened, he gave me my options and I won\'t see anybody else now. As for your hair, just do it! If it goes wrong, oh wrll! The last 10 days i have had red, bright orange, purple and pink hair, all by accident experimenting with my hair! But that\'s me, I\'m addicted to changing my hair 🙂 I find its a way to show my more adventurous side that I don\'t know how to express otherwise! Good luck at the doctors hun.

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  2. VividDreamer 10 years ago

    I think I will do it after my exams so then I can hide if it\'s rotten and dye it red probably. I\'ll try him one more time and ask to JUST see him. Maybe it would be better if I didn\'t have to watch two people staring at me. Your hair looks cool in the pic :).

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  3. VividDreamer 10 years ago

    I\'m glad that I know that its a typical problem, at least I know it\'s not just me. It is so much easier to let someone else decide. I wish I could just do it myself. Even when I do eventually make a decision I constantly ask if it\'s the right thing to do.

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  4. VividDreamer 10 years ago

    No it didn\'t sound harsh. You\'re right I need to try to stop replying on everyone to make decisions.

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