I spent the day catching up with two old friends. i have been home bound for so long. that i decided to get out and hang out.we talked,we laughed and my anxiety felt invisible at that time…..Then on the drive home it started to hit me..im alone in my car. im starting to feel the effects of going hours without eating.headache,fatigue,and stomach pain. I know that there is nothing wrong with me. but my anxiety takes over me and I start having anxious thoughts. what if there is something wrong with..what if im sick. i stopped and ordered a plate of food and talked to my boyfriend on the phone to distract my mind for a while. as soon as i made it home,hung up the phone,i washed my hands and i tried to eat. the thoughts came back. my food started to look less apitiezing and my anxious thoughts came back. i forced myself to eat by focusing on how good my food looks and smells. I also turned on the tv and really tried to focus on what i was watching..this worked for a while untill i went to the bath room to wash my hands.I started starring at myself in thr mirror looking fof any signs of sickness.My ocd started to take over me. i had to make myself get out of the bathroom. I sfarted to tell myself mentally i trust in god and he will take care of me. be anxious for nothing. god is in control. have faith. i have to remember that these are just thoughts. they can not harm me. i can choose to believe them or just accept them and watch them come and go with out judging or interacting with them.im trying but sometimes i get stuck in my head.
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