So ever since Thanksgiving weekend when I first found out that my girlfriend at the time was having doubts about our relationship I had hopped into gear and tried my absolute best to put my best foot forward and try to really fight for my relationship. At first I thought it was something that we could work out. I had no idea how terminal our relationship had been in her eyes. I slowly started realizing the reality of her doubts when week by week I felt her slipping away instead of getting closer to me. Her word choice became less and less encouraging. She went from having doubts to saying she was on her last straw. What hurt was when she couldn’t tell me that she could still fight for us. So each week she was slipping more and more away until finally there just wasn’t anything there.
Throughout those agonizing weeks she did tell me little by little the reasons why the relationship wasn’t working for her. They honestly did make sense. She said it wasn’t really one thing, but a bunch of little things that just added up.
One of the first issues she had was that she felt she was pushing me along the entire relationship. Her last serious relationship before me she got cheated on. What made it worse was that because she was dating a supervisor they had to keep their relationship a secret. So she couldn’t really post public photos and what not. I think this got her very cautious of going into another relationship like that. When we firsts started dating I had the mindset of easing into it. For her, after almost two months of casual dating she was starting to get worried she was getting strung along again. She actually made an ultimatum that we had to be official by the end of June of that year. I ended up asking her out right before June ended. Her birthday falls on the 27th of her month. My birthday is the 29th of my month. So I asked her out the 28th of June. She was also the first single mother I’ve ever dated so I wasn’t used to interacting with someone else’s child. With that I also wanted to take my time. It didn’t help that I honestly found it difficult to like the son at first. I thought she was too lenient with him and quite frankly I saw him as a spoiled brat. So that slowed down the bonding process for me. With that being said, she also felt like it was taking a while for us to bond (well over a year) and she kind of had to push me along for that as well. Another big issue on this topic is that we live in a 3 bedroom townhouse. Because I allow my dogs to sleep in my room she didn’t want to sleep with me because she’s very sensitive to pet dander. Originally I didn’t think it was a big deal in our relationship that we didn’t share a bedroom. The year and a half she’s been living with me she’s seemed comfortable having her own room as well. Apparently, though, this was something that was weighing on her. I get she should have been more vocal, but I do put blame on myself. I should have manned up and at least asked her if she was still o.k. I just got too comfortable with her, especially after we started talking about marriage.
There were other little reasons as well. I know last fall we would get in arguments about once or twice a month. I know that with me I saw her as the bad guy. I thought she was too negative and would get mad at things too easily. If I were on the outside looking in, I would probably also tell her to move on