Well, today was another day, where again I cannot come up with plan for my future, whether it is looking into another career and obtaining some financial security, or finding some peace within myself. I am so tired of living week to week with no net. I am a great person with real compassion and big dreams for myself but nothng has amounted to anything. I was married for a long time and for what…I was stabbed in the back and left with nothing. I hate being alone and having nothing to look forward to. Hate it. Why can’t I attract a nice guy to share my life with? And yet as a read the different blogs I read one after another where there are alot of people who are in unhappy marriages/relationships…I dont think people realize that relationships are all about compromise. But hindsight is 20/20 -And I dont want to offend anyone, just speaking my mind. I really dont know how much longer I can keep this mask of bravery on. My heart is aching and I have never felt as alone as I do right now. As I look back I remember the good times of being a wife and mother and now I am not those people anymore. I am a shell of the person I once was. I am a woman of faith and I am struggling with my faith right now. I keep saying God when is it going to get better? When will I feel whole again. Will I ever feel whole again? Emptiness is something I dont have alof of experience with.
I need of a miracle –