So it's been a month since my last post and since then things have been going well. I know all of my posts are whining about marriage but lately we seemed to have things figured out and everything had been fine.

Unfortunaly, the other day my stepdaughter kept teasing the dog with his toy and got in his face and he growled then got up to walk away from her. My husband freaked out and insists he was lunging at her but had he been doing that he would have ended up on top of her. I had been warning her all day not to do that because she was going to upset the dog but she would not listen. This dog is the calmest most gentle dog, so to get him to even growl is hard but I can understand why he did since she was not being nice.

My husband is a country boy so he was insisting the dog needed to be shot and I said I was going to leave the house with the dog. Meaning I was going to take the dog out of the situation so my husband could cool off and tend to his daughter who was upset(mostly because of my husbands freakout). We both exchanged some nasty words after this because he insists I was choosing a dog over him and it ended with me leaving the house until that evening. He knew I was going back to the house and even though he said he would stay at his shop, he came home, which was fine but don't pretend you hate me and then come be around me.

That day he happened to have an appointment with his lawyer for child custody and is saying he filled out the paperwork for a divorce and it will be filed monday. I truly believe that had he not had that appointment he would not have done it. I am 90% sure he is being truthful since when he is upset he can be a bit impulsive, but i'm worried because usually once he does something he won't undo it. The only thing that has me wondering a bit is that he claimed he threw his wedding ring out his car window but yesterday I found it in the dresser drawer(he doesnt know I did though).

This all happened on thursday. Yesterday morning(Friday) was rough but throughout the day he was getting more normal toward me. Around lunchtime he had to run some errands and help a friend with a car but said he wanted to talk this out when he got home and gave me a hug. Unfortunately, by the time he got home he was really irritated because the friends car took 8 hours to fix outside in the cold. He refused to talk and insists that there is nothing to discuss because this marriage is over.

This morning something was obviously bothering him again and I try to leave him alone when he is upset but in this case I'm panicking so I couldn't. He ended up getting upset and yelling at me to stop talking about it, saying it's over and done. I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do. I have no job because he wanted me to be a housewife, I have no money of my own and we rent this house so I won't have that either if we divorce. Mostly I don't want to lose my husband and best friend. I'm just really scared. I don't think this needs to be over but I feel like he is using this as an excuse to run from life. Financially we are having some stress which I was just made aware of so I think that may be the root of it all, but still I don't think I'll make it if he really does this. We've only been married for almost 6 months so we are still figuring the marriage stuff out but this just has me so worried and upset.

2 Comments
  1. anxietycoachNH 8 years ago

    After reading this, it\'s no wonder you are struggling with anxiety, I think any one would be if they were in a similar situation with their husband. I think everyone wants to feel emotionally safe, loved unconditionally and stable when it comes to relationships and if we are in a position where we don\'t feel these things, anxiety rears it\'s ugly head. Perhaps it would help to think about why you want him to stay if he is playing the divorce card or flies off the handle and doesn\'t think twice about shooting a dog? I can understand why you feel stuck, being a housewife and having no funds of your own can make one feel quite helpless. But that aside, do you think this man supports you when it comes to your anxiety or exacerbates it? Is this someone that will be a good partner in life\'s struggles? It sounds like he has some personal growth to do before he can be available to you and your needs. Just some things to consider, I wish you well and hope he realizes all the things you have to offer as a person, he seems a bit blinded by other issues right now to see but I hope he comes around.

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  2. foreverchanging 8 years ago

    I'm very sorry.

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