This is my first blog post, so I guess I'll start out with where I've been and where I am in regards to anxiety. Although I'm new to the 'Tribe' I'm certainly not new to anxiety. I had my first symptoms of anxiety when I was about 8 or 9 years old, although I did'nt know it then. I remember feeling as if I needed to take deep breaths, yet found it hard to really get a deep breath… Even now this old symptom of my anxiety comes back from time to time. I'm 37 years old now, so anxiety has been a part of my life to one extent or another for nearly 30 years. And, believe it or not this is my very first attempt at talking about it with a group or anything like that. So, hopefully this will be a new chapter…something that will help.
I was 15 when I had my first full blown panic attack, and was rushed to the ER. Since then I have struggled with this problem, and it has altered my life for the worse without a doubt. It has hurt me professionally and in personal relationships etc. I have however had long periods free from anxiety, even up to a year or two… but it always seems to come back. I have never taken any medication for the anxiety, as I have felt that it all originates with thought patterns, and I should be able to control my own mind… foolish I guess. I have been taking a beta blocker however, and it does help tremendously with the racing heart thing that goes along with anxiety… I have found that being active and getting plenty of exercise is what helps me the most.
As for where I am right now, I'd have to say in one of my worse slumps ever. All last year I was very active and had zero anxiety issues… then, I lost my job and broke my wrist, so I found myself sitting in the house all the time. Now, all my problems are back… I don't want to go anywhere from fear of something bad happening etc. I have a fear of being stuck in traffic or on bridges etc…, you know, places I can't get away from in case I have an anxiety attack. My fiance is starting to think that I just don't want to go anywhere with her ( back to it effecting relationships again ! ).
Anyway, I could go on and on… but in short, I'm crazy ! lol No but I'm hoping to meet some friends here who share the same issues that I can beat this anxiety together with… So if you need a friend as well, friend me up !