im new yes. i have no one i can talk to. i would like to make some online friends that i can talk to when i need help.

anyways, lately iv been in a horibal mood. i cant seem to shake this one. i just want to pack a backpack and just leave. i just want to find a corner and never be looked at again. im sure that this sounds stupid and so high school emo drama. but all i want to do is lay in bed all day and sleep. im forcing myself to eat…and now….. when i see the stupid fucking knives…i just…you know… i hate feeling this way and i have no one i can talk to about anything. iv tried to talk about this kinda stuff with my boyfriend. but he just hugs me and says "stop it" "no" "well i love you" and kisses me on the forhead. he dosnt understand how i feel. i cant talk to family. there was a high school insadent and all my mom said was "its cause you dont go to church anymore" "thats what happens when you dont let god in your life" i dont have the heart to tell her i dont belive in god. sorry to thos who do. And getting "help" is out of the question. my family is beyoned broke, my boyfriend only has one part time job, and im so fucking worthless that i cant even manage to findone fucking part time job. i wasnt even fucking wanted to wash scummy dishes….i just feel like shit, worthless, and i feel so in the way, every one is tacking care of 23 year old me. im a fucking adult, and i would die if i was on my own…..maybe thats why iv thought about leaving… i just need help…at this point….anything…i can usally shake myself out of this mood….but i cant now, its getting worse…i have a backpack ready….help me..

1 Comment
  1. reem-01 7 months ago

    Hi i feel like I understand part of what ur going through sometimes the time u feel like u wasted and the people u feel like u r burdening r things u use to hurt yourself but ur worth is not tied with what u have to offer it’s ok to start over it’s ok that u can’t survive on ur own for now .ur so hard on yourself and ur mentally abusing ur self with these thoughts it’s ok don’t apologize for not believing in God ur life is ur own . I know what I said may not have maid any sense (I’m not a native English speaker) but I wish for the bottom of my heart that u feel better ❤️

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