so where to start. my birth-name is saoirse but i identify as Seth. im not entirely sure how this works but honestly i just wanted to rant a bit. ill be 15 in about a week. i came out as bi when i was 12 and i came out (kinda) as gender fluid last November/December. when i first came out as bi, my parents both tried to tell me it was a phase and i was too young to know. this was after being told for years that they’d always support me no matter what. anyways i decided to ignore it and pretend nothing had happened and eventually they acted like it had never happened as well. so life moved on and i started to question my gender. i have always felt like the label “girl” was right but i didn’t want to be a boy either. i shared this with a close friend and they explained the term non-binary to me and immediately i knew that was i am. i did some research and i know that this was right for me and i finally felt comfortable with my identity and body. so i came out to most of my friends and it went really well. but for my own mental state, i made the decision not to share this with my parents. anyways i had tictok and i used my account to share LGBTQ+ content as well as popular trends such as dances and jokes. i wont go into detail but through one thing and another, my mum took my phone and said she wanted to see my tictok account. immediately i began to panic as i didn’t want her to freak out which i knew she would but she found a video in which i mentioned i preferred the name Seth and they/them pronouns. she freaked out and immediately started telling me i was “not a boy” and it was simply another “phase” since then (December) I’ve been pretending it didn’t happen, hoping they wont get angry again. but my mum has banned me from wearing any kind of masculine clothes which i feel is unfair because even since i was a very young child i always preferred hoodies and jeans to dresses or skirts. and with this quarantine thing, ive been stuck in the house with them for weeks and my heads kinda in a really bad place. on top of that, two of my best friends are getting very distant and i haven’t heard for one of them in 3 weeks. i don’t really know what to do. the only thing that keeps me going is closing my eyes and imagining what ill do when i go to college in 2 years. im gonna cut my hair, im gonna buy a binder and a huge pride flag for my wall. im also gonna go to every single pride event that i can. im gonna get a girlfriend or a boyfriend who doesn’t give a shit whats in my pants and just loves me for me. someone who will use my real name and the right pronouns. but i don’t know if i can hold on much longer. i cant keep doing this. i just want to be accepted by my parents. my birthday is in a week and what i want more than anything is a chest binder but i cant have it because its “just another stupid phase” if you bothered reading this whole thing, thanks <3 feel free to comment advice or smtg but u don’t have to.