Depression has changed me, changed what I thought my life would be at the time of my life. I can’t helo but look at the people around me also in their twenties at the accomplishments and failures. I look at them in relationships with a part of me wanting and the other part of me refusing it. I have trust issues that I’ve yet to break through which happens after your family has burned you as bad as the did. And to be completely honest I’m insecure. I don’t care that I’m not a size 2 because I take care of myself physically. It’s my other health problems and past issues that make me insecure. People have abandoned me without knowing the depth of who I was. It makes me panic at how a person would react knowing the parts of me that are still broken. I don’t know how to open up to someone after so many have walked away. I think from a young age everyone prepares you for the big day. What’s the big day? Your wedding. But no one talks about the next big day is unless it’s about babies. Those are supposed to be the big accomplishments is marriage and babies. There was a time where I wanted to be married and probably have kids. I used to think I’d have three but now neither appeal to me. If I’m going to have kids (big if) I would probably just have one. I’m going into my mid 20s and my biggest goal was to be a published author. Now that I’ve done that it led me to question what was next. I decided I want to travel; I have a list of places and itineraries of what I want to do when I’m there. It scares and excites me the idea of it. By the time I’m 30 I want to go to Iceland to finish of the era. I’m 7 years away from that time. All my life, I blacked out most of my childhood, my adolescence was when I was diagnosed with depression and nearly died. The path in life isn’t what I had anticipated but I fell prepared to go through the looking glass.
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Crazy days
sadjac, , Depression, Career, Questions, 0
Well what a crazy few days! I wasn’t able to get online last night due to an issue with...
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Home For The Verry First Time
Serrinatta, , Depression, Relationships, 1
So my current boyfriend and I are looking at buying a home. We’ve actually been at this for about...
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Fed Up!
sadviolinist, , Depression, Child, Sleep Disorders, 0
Days like today I just feel like maybe nobody really cares. If I stopped sending out messages and pretty...
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Peep
Thxforwork, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 0
I’ve never felt like I knew someone so well who I’ve never met before except for peep he talked...
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Letter To bethie..
sadjac, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Obesity, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, 0
An email I just sent to my DT friend Bethie. I know you mean well. I really do....
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Decisions
MForeverChained, , Depression, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
So with great sorrow, I've made my decision… With everything that is happening with my boyfriend, I have to...
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Never leave lonely alone
stenna16, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Questions, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, 2
Soo today wasn't one of my better days. After starting Lexapro I started having more vivid dreams which isn't...
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Maybe…
DrPepperBabe, , Depression, Adoption, 0
Maybe I should finish with Chris. Maybe I should get rid of my car. Maybe I should...