I'm tired – really tired.  It's not that late for me, just 23:20 (UT) but I'm getting ready for bed.

I've been pushing myself a bit recently and have got myself into the too-tired-to-sleep pattern that I sometimes get into.  When I say pushing myself, I've hardly been training for a marathon.  I had an early hospital appointment on Monday, I cycled to a friend's flat yesterday (about 5 miles there and back) and I cooked a quiche and deep-cleaned my deep-fat fryer (a 5% solution of NaOH works a treat but buggers your hands up a bit) today.  However that has been quite enough to make me exausted. That's chronic fatigue for you: I'm lucky I have it only at a mild level and am able to have a little bit of a life.

Usually, when I feel this tired, the door is wide open to depression and craving alcohol.  I even have the money for a small alcoholic binge at the moment, but I just don't feel like it.  I'm not even depressed.  Perhaps it's because I have achieved something today and had a good experience with a local supplier of industrial cleaning products – they delieverd to my door, same day, no charge and took a cheque.

I say the serenity prayer every night and usually try to mean it.  Perhaps I am enjoying a period of serenity.  Whatever it is, I'll settle for it.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the serenity prayer it goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change – courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the diference.

It is said by alcoholics and I presume also by other practitioners of 12-step programs, as a group at the end of a meeting and individually whenever the need arises.  It's a good Prayer and the power of Prayer has been demonstrated in a double-blind test (no, really).

That's all,

Goodnight and may your God go with you,



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