Love, what the hell is that? Is it just a word or does it really mean anything anymore. I seems like so many people just say it because maybe they just want to hear it back. So it doesn't matter who it is saying it they just want to hear it. And maybe the more people that say it to them the more they feel worthy. I don't know that is not how I work yes you can be interested and have feelings for more than 1 person but when it comes to actually loving them that is when all your feelings should come into focus. You can flirt and feel out different people in the search for this thing called love but don't go around saying you love someone if you are not ready to invest all of yourself in that relationship. Maybe I'm old fashion or not realistically looking at this. Maybe in the new age era of the interent it is the norm to throw the word love around to multiple people because it's not real it's like a fantasy land where you can step away from yourself and find plenty of validation for all your insecurities. Hell I've done it to so I'm not immue from the seduction of it all. It feels good to have someone say they want you especially when you don't have that in real life. And I'm not trying to bash the internet as being a sesspool of fakeness and self gratification. I do think it is a good way to meet people and develope relationships without all sexual tension being thrown to the forefront. But I also think that it can be abused and it can be an outlet for people to just escape the problems that they don't want to deal with in their own life. They can say they love someone and not really mean it because hey who is gonna really get hurt it's not real I don't have to look them in the eyes and see their hurt. and if they leave oh well there are plenty of others out there willing to give me what I want to hear. I don't know I just can't do that. be it real life or virtual life when I give my heart to someone it is because I want it to work and be something wonderful and lasting. I want the world to know I am with this person and vise versa. I don't want to hide behind a screename and be like everyone come love me. I want one special person who appreciates my love and is willing to love me back the same way. I've learned from the mistakes I've made in the past and I wouldn't want to cause the heartache that I have witnessed before and even felt. Learning from our mistakes is what makes us know what we want from love and how to hopefully find it. Now if I can only find her?

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