I finally got internet back, so hopefully it lasts 🙂 But ya…things have been going good since I got back here to CT. My grandma died and so I went to California to spread her ashes and I got to see my family again. I wished that it hadn't been under those cercumstances, and I wish that I could have seen my grandma one last time, but everything was pretty good over there. Everyone pretty much gave me the talk about how I left was bad, but as long as I'm happy where I am then they're glad I am there. And it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would have. I was with my family and I felt like I fit in more, there wasn't that tension and that feeling like I didn't belong, so it was a nice feeling. There were times when I remembered why I had left but I didn't dwell on it for too long. I've found that since I left my relationship with my mom has gotten better. My sisters and I don't have as good of a relationship as before, but the relationship with my mom has gotten stronger; I think it's because we're talking more and I understand things more.
Today my boyfriend and I got into our first big argument in awhile. It was over the stupidiest thing, but I think it's just one of those things where you need to just let everything out so it blew up more then it should have. I think he's been feeling alot of stress or whatever lately because he isn't used to being in a relationship for this long, or for being with one girl this long. He's allows been dating at least 2 girls at the same time and then having 1-3 girls on the side as well and I think that it's killing him that he's pretty much stuck in a normal relationship and has to make a decision and stick with it. That's something that I've really noticed that runs in his family, no one makes decisions and sticks with the decision, and procrastonating. But ya…right now he's having a little silent tantrum so I'm just pretty much ignoring it and letting him do whatever and not letting it effect my day. So far I've been able to clean the entire room from top to bottom and finally get ALL of the laundry put away, so that's nice.
It feels really good to not let things effect me so much. I like being able to just let things roll off of me and not worry about them and be able to go on with my day despite things not going how I want them to go.