So, just recently, my favorite band, My Chemical Romance, broke up. The thing is, they were more than my favorite band. They were almost the only thing I had left besides family and the very few friends I have.

So, with that being said, it should be easy to tell that I'm quite devastated by this. Now, along with this all, adding to my sadness, a friend of mine who was also a big fan of MCR has recently announced she's ready to end it all. Part if it has to do with personal life, and part of it has to do with the fact that the band was all she had left (literally, her parents hardly give a shit about her…) and they were pretty much her lifeline. She's ready to committ suicide.

Her last words to me were "I just feel like killing myself. Like just really ending it this time. It's just pointless and worthless. I don't get it. I don't want to live or wait even more for things to get better. I already fucked up everything by telling the truth and it wasn't my fault. He wouldn't be suicidal now if she wouldn't have told him about that. They started everything but I'm still the one to blame. I'm done. I just can't anymore. I'm sorry."

And then she got offline, and she hasn't been on since. I'm really worried about her, and there's almost no way I can find out about it, considering she lives on the other side of the planet.

I'm just so worried about her, it's killing me, and I feel like this time she might really be gone. And she was one of the friends that I was going to try to keep myself alive for. I still have a few of those, but I really, really wish she would just be okay.

I'd appreciate it if someone would talk to me…please.

1 Comment
  1. RZA324 10 years ago

    YOu have to do this for yourself.  You are worth it, you need to realize that unfortunately people come and people leave our lives.  Sometimes forever and sometimes for a short time but its a fact of life.  I don't know if you see a therapist but I think you really should and also depending on your diagnosis some medication. The medication will just help with the chemical imbalance but the therapy, if you find the right person, will be so helpful.  Just give it some time to move forward.  A therapist is going to give you the tools that you need to help you be able to cope with daily life stressor.  Again don't know if you already have one or not but if not try it.  Its the one place you can go and be yourself and not feel judged.  Again, need the right therapist, it can be difficult to find but its well worth the search.  Good Luck and try to get help if your not doing that already.  And if you are tell  your therapist how your feeling, remember saying your feeling suicidal doesn't mean that they will section you.  You need to have a plan, but if you do it might really help to go inpatient for a bit in order to get emotionally stron.  Again wish you well.

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