So I was recommended this site and I’m still trying to figure out how everything works. So far so good because I’ve found this ‘Blog’ space which seems like a good place to vent. But where should I start?

Well first of all, people call me M so I’ll use that for introductions. My hobbies include playing/creating music, baking, cooking, reading, crying, talking to myself, avoiding mirrors to dismiss my own reflection, previously, self-harming (mentally counts too!) etc. I mean the list can go on but we’ll leave it there for now.

The last two years of my life have been the worst that I’ve known and honestly I have no idea when, why and how it all started to go wrong and that makes it worse for me. I like to think of myself as a reasonably logical person and I don’t understand how of all people can never understand my emotions. If anyone was to understand me, it would be me, right?


All those ‘hobbies’ that I mentioned earlier (the positive ones) are extremely hard to do when your mind is fixated on the negative ones. Sometimes I feel like I’m my own worst enemy and that one day I’m going to destroy myself and eliminate any potential that I may have but then there’ll be no-one to blame but me. Being the person who you are is very difficult when you don’t know who you are. For example, I thought I was a strong person but the part of me who went through the whole self-harming phrase is not the same person I would associate myself with. She was a whole different part of me that I never knew existed. She was the vulnerability that I see/hear in others when I do all I can to help them. I know others who have been in that same position but a year ago I never thought that would be me. Turns out I don’t know myself as much as I think I do. Turns out I only know the person I want to be/see myself as i.e. a strong, grounded person with self-control.

Half of my problem which is a big thing for me to outline, is that I’m more of a listener than a talker yet here I am. And if you’ve made it this far down, 1) thank you! 🙂 2) you must be just like me…a listener (or reader in this case)

For my first post, I just wanted to brush the surface so I don’t scare anyone away 🙂 but hope to speak soon…


p.s. Agatha Christie’s Poirot is one of my favourite shows hence the photo…look it up!

  1. callmenoen 12 months ago

    Hey M!

    Feel free to message me anytime, I am a BIG listener lol. I love baking, writing, and drawing (mostly architectural and cartoons). I am a beginner on piano and guitar (like I can barely play chords beginner). Stress and anxiety makes it really difficult for me to draw sometimes, its like I have no motivation to do anything, so I get what you mean

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  2. welaby 12 months ago

    Hi M! There are so many like you and I. It doesn’t matter the age either. We have so many of the same interests- kinda scary. Do you like Cadfael too?

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  3. karen1976 12 months ago

    I’m new to this site also. I enjoyed reading your post…. it’s real and it’s honest. I’m like you and I’m very good at taking on other people’s problems but not good at sharing my own .
    That’s why I’m trying this site , to try talking and sharing . Maybe we can all help each other and struggle through life between us or at least try and laugh and cheer each other up on the journey through xx

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