Dealing with my anxiety often has me feeling extremely overwhelmed in an instant, for me I am terrified of abandonment and struggle with feeling validated and craving reassurance. I have been obsessing over things more than usual lately and I definitely need to schedule an appointment for therapy. I want to know why I do this to myself, why I put myself down and have such a negative outlook on things. I feel like my own worst enemy second guessing and standing in the way of my own happiness. I am thankful my relationship is still standing granted we have many other issues to deal with, I don’t feel like I will ever be good enough for him. My ultimate goal is to get myself the proper help in order to have a happier life but I’m constantly making excuses and procrastinating. I think a part of me is just scared to discover what else is possibly wrong with my mental health. Aside from the obvious anxiety, I have horrible depression that has been increasing more each month passes. Some days are better than others and some days I fight myself trying my hardest to distract myself from whatever pain I am facing. I found this site after having my privacy invaded by my ex-husband and his mother over at psych central…I felt extremely violated but still managed to have the strength to look elsewhere for help. I found this site and I really enjoy it. I wish there was an app for it tho. I recently started a new job and started going to school online, so I have been trying to keep myself busy and it hasn’t helped as much as I would like. I am not getting scheduled enough work and I am now looking for a closer job that has less commute. I digress I feel I am beginning to ramble. I hope to meet more of you all I look forward to it.