Hi everyone, been off the boards for a while. Just wanted to give an update on how things are going.

I havent been able to take a vacation in 2 years because of my germ issues. For mothers day i decided to go away with my mom and we stayed at a great place on the beach. I was so nervous about the trip but it actually went very well. I was so pleased to see that I can actually go on a trip if i want and survive it haha. i did lysol the whole room but i think most people would, including my mom. I think it meant a lot to her to see that im getting better.

My other issue is eating out at places because i have a strict diet and i NEVER eat food other people have made for me. Too many germ issues there. I ate out at a few places the whole time i was never and even ordered room service! Which was a big no no for me before. And all the food was so good, we had such a great time. It was the only trip weve been on together.

Ive been trying a lot harder to conquer my fears lately because it really sunk in that you never know when life is over and i dont want to look back and be dissapointed about my life, i want it to be filled with wonderful memories. Ive started working more and I also signed up for my first pin up contest.

This means being on a stage and talking and taking pictures with hundreds of people all day in an unfamiliar place. Pretty much a recipe for disaster. This event is really important for me and its something i really need to do. I havent even told most people about it so i still have the chance to back out of it if i need to. I honestly dont know how im going to do it and its less than 2 weeks away.

I went to the doctor today and explained the situation( let me include that im terrified of taking medicine, i dont even take otc medicine). He wants me on an everyday anxiety medicine but i know that isnt going to happen with me so he gave me Ativan for events like this. Ive never taken it so im really nervous to take it. When i get anxious i get really dizzy and my stomach kills me so im scared that the ativan will just make those things worse. Im still not sure if i should take it. If anyone has any experience with this then please share it with me.

I have even been thinking of doing an actors workshop to try to get over my stage fright. i think it will help a lot with my fear of having panic attacks in public too.

i just want to try to eliminate as much stress as possible from my life right now, im so tired of it.  This has been a long ramble, sorry guys. Now you know what ive been up to! Hopefully i can write some more productive blogs soon.

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    You will never know if the medicine is right for you until you take it.  You need to establish that before the other steps can be successful,  If this prescription doesn't work, you will have time to get back to the doctor to see if he can try anything else.\"\"

    0 kudos

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