so me and my girlfriend have been together for about 4-5 months and last night she told me she loved me for the first time and i didn’t say anything to her after she told me that and i was thinking to myself and i realized i’m incapable of letting some one love me and/or even care for me i can love some one but i’m not capable to do the same. i think thats why i’m such an asshole to my family i think if i’m not an ass hole then i will have to be expected to be able to let people love me.
i don’t know what to do cuz i don’t know what to tell my girlfriend why i can’t hear her tell me i love her.
Hey Finlee, have you considered writing down how you feel, and then giving it to her in a love letter? Writing things down gets them out of my head, and that is a good thing!
~♥~
Sending you some love, a hug, a calm and quiet peace, and compassion – Iris
Finlee,
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I completely second what Iris said. I’ve also found that writing thoughts down helps me process and express them better. Perhaps, if that seems like a daunting task to you, you could try starting out journaling to yourself about the situation. Often times, for me, it provides valuable insight and a better understanding of both myself and my feelings about a situation that is weighing on my mind. From there you can pick out the pieces you feel are relevant to share with your girlfriend.
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I think it’s incredibly important for your relationship, to be open with her about your feelings. That’s how you strengthen and build upon it. Even if you are unable to tell her that you love her back, it’s still important that she understands exactly why that is. If you don’t talk about it and close off open communication, there is a chance she will blame herself and feel like you don’t care about her as much as she cares about you. It could create a lot of problems moving forward and eventually end things altogether. From the sounds of it, I don’t think that’s what either of you is wanting.
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In time, you might find that, as you build upon your relationship, you will one day find that you are able to let her love you and express love to her in return. If you don’t give things a fighting chance you’ll never know though and you may end up regretting it. At this point, it sounds like you’re at a bit of a crossroads on what to do and it sounds like you have to make a choice. It’s all up to you, which way to go, but honestly it would be a real shame to see you not put in the extra effort and risk losing out on a love that could be lasting and deep. Time and patience could bring beautiful rewards to you both.
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My advice is: I believe that love has already brought you this far, you wouldn’t have stayed together this long already if it didn’t, so don’t give up on it now. It could even help bridge the gap between you and your family, strengthening all of your interpersonal relationships. You can call me a dreamer, if you wish, but I am an advocate for love and I firmly believe in its power.
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Hmm… I don’t feel like I worded all of that in a way that quite makes total sense. Fortunately, I know of a great song that explains what I’m trying to say much better, “Tell Her About It” by Billy Joel. I hope all this helps and I’m rooting for your relationship and what is best for both of you.
ok thank u both i will try and start journaling and maybe at some point i will write the letter to her