I feel that I need to write a blog about what happened this week. I feel like it needs to be said and so here it is, best I can.

Early this week my uncle was killed in Iraq. He was in a meeting that was supposed to be kept quiet and it was found out about. There was a bomb placed in the building which is what exploded, killing him and a fellow officer. I don’t know how to exactly explain how I feel yet. Even though it’s been a few days. I still feel numb. I went down to Tucson to be with my family Wednesday and Thursday. I saw my 5 cousins and aunt, grandparents and immediate family. It was so hard to face my cousins and my aunt. I didn’t even know how to react, should I try to be calm and strong and not cry or let it out. I chose to cry as little as possible even though it was unsuccessful as my grandma told me about how there were two officers at the house when she got home. I keep remembering when I was about 8 and my uncle had surprised me when I got home from school. He always treated me like a big kid, let me sit up front in the car, brought me a cool shirt from Costa Rica, the movie all dogs go to heaven. I remember him brushing his teeth for an extremely long time. I remember he taught me that if I didn’t like the taste of food to plug my nose and try to swallow fast as possible & then chase it w/ a drink. He helped me learn how to ride a bicycle and took me and my brother to the fair. Every time I think about what happened all these thoughts and memories from when I was young just come flooding in and I can’t help but cry. I have no faith in god or heaven so I feel like it is making death harder to accept. I don’t know what comes after, no one does and that in its self is scary to me. I did see the most amazing sunset last night driving home. It was perfect. It made me cry. Knowing that simple stupid things that happen everyday are pretty amazing. My uncles’ death is the first to happen in our family which is why I think that I feel so shocked and still stuck in some horrible dream. It isn’t like I saw him much; he was always usually gone for 12-18 months on missions. But it’s hard to come to the realization that I will never, for any reason or circumstance see him again.

I have never for once forgotten that we are at a war. I think that because it has been going on for so long and isn’t very widely talked about people tend to forget that there is a war going on in our backyard. Innocent men and women are being sent over one after the other to fill the boots of a fallen comrade. It is horrible to think that this war is still going on and for what? I don’t even know if the people in charge are sure what they are fighting about anymore. There has to come a time when someone says enough is enough. Over 4000 American soldiers have fallen but it’s like it isn’t even happening to some people. I hope that maybe with a new president that things can start to change. We are fighting a war that seems aimless and endless at this point. The ones that are making it out alive are coming home with PTSD. There are so much more important things to fight for.

 

In memory of Robert Charles Hammett

1 Comment
  1. prism 16 years ago

    My heart goes out to you Jade. Nothing can make up for the loss you are feeling right now. I am happy for you that you can see the difference he has made in your life and the good memories you have of him. He has been apart of your life and in doing so he is a part of you.

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