I want to introduce myself. I am 27, married for 8 years, have a 5 year old daughter and 7 year old son. I have a 3 year old pitbull, 2 year old yorkie-poo, and 5 year old lab. I discovered I had OCD when I was 21. I have had depression and anxiety since …well I was diagnosed when I was 14. I have been on Paxil, then Lexapro, then Citalopram and Buspirone. I had my first panic attack when I was 25. I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. My OCD is mostly obsessive thoughts. I have a few compulsions: list making, cleaning, hoarding, skin picking. My obsessions: health- getting sick, getting in a car accident, my kids or family getting hurt ( I actually hear the screaming in my head from their pain). Most days lately I have been good. Maybe once a month I will get an OCD episode. I cant shake it. The rest of the time, I am just anxious (all the time), and have constant recurring, intrusive, obsessive thoughts. It has been over six months since my last panic attack. I quit school and my internship due to these attacks.

I have a bit of hypochondria too. I think I have cancer in my neck, because I have an enlarged lymph node. I went to the doctor three times for it and each time the doctor says I am fine. I dont believe them. If I get a pain or see something abnormal I think I have cancer of that area. If my legs hurt I think I have a blood clot. I also have an obsession with becoming pregnant. I am on birth control but still find myself buying pregnancy tests.

I have come along way and am much better mentally and emotionally than I used to be. I am still afraid I will get worse.