So yeah, I signed up here last week because I was intrigued that there's actually a support community website for depression. I've got a crazy backstory, and it only ties into depression recently.

At the age of 13 I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, which is best described as a mild form of Autism. Over the years (I'm 21 now) I've met a ton of people who are on the autism spectrum, as well as a lot of completely "normal" people who claim to support the people on the autism spectrum. Some of them have lived up to their claims, some of them haven't, but my point, if I have a point at all, is what a amazes me is how none of them fail to realize the fact that mental illness of any sort and autism can be comorbid.

The thing that kills me even more, is that in any setting involving professionals that are on the mental health side, they basically know nothing about autism. So in my case, I'm stuck with depression and/or bipolar symptoms that I developed over the last couple years (though it has intermittently occurred during other parts of my life), plus my Autism that I've been working on most of my life.

The good news is, because I've been so proactive about the Autism side of things, my understanding of social skills are really good. When I choose to, I can communicate like any average person, these days. However, I've pretty much ignored trying to cope with mental health symptoms due to a mistrust of things mental health professionals have told me, based on their misunderstanding of Autism. A few months ago, the depression caught up with me and I've spent 75% of these last months isolating and laying around in bed.

Whenever I do go hang out with friends or something, I find myself almost feeling like I'm too exhausted to actually use the social skills that I've learned, so it's like I'm doing totally stupid socially-awkward things but unlike previously, I'm fully aware that I'm being stupid right at the moment I'm doing it.

So yeah, that's where I'm at. I'm here to learn more about this depression thing, and get to know other people. One thing I refuse to do is take medications…yes, I was on medications when I was younger, pretty much every pill in the book. I know for a fact that everyday I took them, my body deteriorated a little more. So I'm glad I was able to successfully quit them. I believe in using therapy and sheer force of will to deal with this stuff. If you disagree, to each their own, I'm just telling you the way I prefer to live my life, and you are free to live yours your way.