Just recently at the age of 22 I have been diagnosed with arthritis in my left foot, most specifically acquired hallux rigidus in my big toe. I never expected the pain in my toe to be that, though arthritis runs through the family on both sides and both of my parents have it in one form or another. Now it seems as though I am having similar feeling in the big toe on my other foot and scared that it is not just in my mind on what I may be feeling in my toe. This diagnosis has crushed me has having arthritis will not let me physically work in the career I have been wanting to go into for many years. I have been dealing with the chronic pain since January, even getting a cortisone shot that is only helping at keeping the pain at bay, and knowing that my dreams are now ruined, I am not sure what to do…I do not know where to aim to seek another dream that I am physically able to do without being rejected. I still have not seen a psychologist as I keep telling myself to but I can’t find the motivation to get help, between attempting to find a new apartment as well as trying to get through the workday that seems to be getting more difficult every shift. Everyday just keeps getting harder and harder to deal with as well as the pain. I just feel like I had to get that off my chest in a serious way. I keep relieving some of the pain in dark humor that I know others are not understanding. I am still unsure of what to do and I am so very lost mentally and physically. I am not sure how long I will last before the pain gets worse.