Things are getting worse. at least, that's the way it feels with me.  I feel like a frog in a frying pan and people telling me to 'stay a little longer, it'll be alright'.

I forget if i posted that my boss sent me home with 'homework', but he had.  i was to write up "5 ways [Serrinatta] can improve her spelling".  despite being the fact that it's a typo, not a spelling error.

I thought about what to do over the weekend, and asked many people (co workers of my other job, my bf, my ex bf, my parents…) what I should do.  Most of them said I should write a ton of jerk-wad answers, go back to work and tell him to stuff it, then leave then and there.  Even my mother (Who I get my neutrality and "let it blow over" mentality from) told me to write up my 2 week notice and not do the worksheet i was given.

My bf said to just not do it. Since i wasn't going to get paid to do it.  But my ex had the most 'middle ground' way about it.  he told me that I should write it up (since my boss wanted it so bad) and then bill him for the time.  most people said that would work, but to back it up.  that if my boss refused to pay me for my time, then I should be ready to hand in my notice.

so, Monday came and that's what I did.  My boss at first refused to pay me, naturally, and then when i handed him my notice, he tried to tell me 'this isn't worth losing a job over".  When I told him that it was more than jsut getting the het for everything, that i ahve to duck and cover because of his wife, I got a lecture about 'how bad off' his wife is.  I told him how muuch i envy her, but naturally, anything I say he doesnt believe.  he jsut says 'she is the way she is' and lets her get away with everying.  Even when she's not having a tantrum, she's casually talking about his 'large blood vessels in his testicals'. I dont need to hear that!  I really dont!

For the life of me it irritates me most that he doesnt even vaguely fathom exactly what siatuation I'm in and exactly how inappropriate it is to make that excuse for her.

Anyway…. my boss came up with a comprimise.  he'd pay me for half the time I'd spent on his little worksheet,  he'd do a version of it himself, and I would work hours where his wife is not in the office.  However, that means I work 9am to noon.  That means I have a 3 hour break between jobs, and when I get home from job 2 I've got three hours before bed.  So far, this really is making me feel like I'm asking  for more garbage flung at me.

The thing that bothers me the most.  What I can't stop dwelling on, is what I mentioned above.  That neither of them vaguely understand a damn thing. I could tell them all right now.  I could lay it out in front of them with colored pictures, a map, flow chart, and they'd just turn a blind eye.  But if she's got a boo-boo, God forbid! God forbid!

This irritates me before bed, before work, durring work, after work.  I can't get over it! And I can't sleep!  Maybe I'm just selfish and want to use my depression as a crutch, too, huh?  I'm so ticked!  I want to walk out! I want to quit! I want to leave!  But I'm too much of a friggin pansey-ass to do it!  And people wonder why I hate myself so seethingly much….