So, I've been battling OCD (contamination) since I was in my teens. It would come and go most of the time… I think that it had a lot to do with me being active and all.

Anyway, three years ago it got really bad and ever since then I've been struggling to keep my life on track. I spent a year struggling to adjust with my fears of getting dirty. I think I made the companies that make cleaning products major bucks from all the stuff I bought. I got a tiny bit better like a year and a half ago, but it comes back. That causes me to get anxious and in return that causes my OCD to get worse. I'm married and my husband is tired of it… He helps me a lot, but I feel bad that I have to put him through this.

When I clean… I use so much cleaning product because I feel that it wont be clean unless I do that. I decided to switch to more natural cleaning products, but my ocd just wont let me go through with cleaning bathrooms and the floors with them. I feel like it wont do the job… I don't let my husband clean… he doesn't do a good job and I end up cleaning after him.

I can't enjoy myself either, like going out and all that stuff. I have to come home and try not to touch anything before I shower. Showering is a must and if I don't shower I wont allow myself to touch anything, and if I do I have to disinfect it. I'm exhausted, angry and sad that I have let myself get this bad. I feel like running and never look back. If only it were that easy.

Any suggestions on what I could do? I've already seen a therapist and I was put on anti-depressants.

1 Comment
  1. Epix 9 years ago

     Ahh, I knew there was something I forgot to type. My therapist had me do the opposite of what I feared. Touching door knobs, using public restrooms and not washing my hands. 

    Thanks Unknowable.

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