Today my mom called for the first time since she disowned me. All she wanted to tell me was she saw a thing about a new depression treatment involving a surgery where they put needles in your brain. When I said I wasn't interested we had another fight. I feel so alone. Even after all of that I pulled myself together and tried to go look for work. I desparately need a job. I tried at 11 places today 8 of them wouldn't even give me an app and basically said I wasn't what they were looking for. How would they know they didn't even do anything but look at me. I am normally goth (no tatoos and I took my piercings out too look for work) but i tried my best to look normal even put on bluejeans and a regular t-shirt and still nothing. My therapist even tried to find me work on a farm but the farmer said he cant afford to pay someone else but i can volunteer if i like but i still need money and the closer i come to running out the more desparate i get to find work but it seems like noone wants me. I have tried for 3 years to find work the closest i have gotten is the odd holiday job thats gone January 1. I am so alone and isolated I was actually excited to maybe get a job and have a chance to meet some new people. My biggest problem is im depressed because I'm lonely and i have trouble doing anything about being lonely because im depressed its a circle i cant seem to get out of. A woman at the bank this morning described me as "the most cheerful person to ever walk into her office with a complaint" so i know i can interact normally its just painful for me at first but i know if given a chance i could be a great employee but no one seems to be willing to give me a shot. If you have read this far bless you from the bottom of my heart for caring and if you take nothing from this let it be this just because someone is a bit different doesn't mean that they are not a delightful individual in need of a chance just like you or anyone else.
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The Rape
Louisiana1976, , Depression, Anger, Child, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sexual Abuse, Therapist, Therapy, 1
In 1979 when I was 21 and was in college studying overseas, I was raped. I'm not going to describe the...
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Pain in my Heart
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I tried articulating this before but was unsuccessful. I don't know what I've been living on all these years...
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Dead-end fork in the road
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I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and now no one wants to help me do anything about...
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What am I thinking
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Thank God i return to work tomorrow. Its been a month and I cant wait to begin teaching my...
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The Beast
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I judge myself every day, every night, every moment. I always find myself defecient & inferior. I do what...
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Nothingness
revealed65, , Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 1
i’ve noticed that these past few days, ive written blogs just about you. maybe its because as days are...
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Hellidays
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I can't help but feel as so many here do when the holidays are upon us or nearly gone....
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Discombobulating Thoughts
woundedpheonix, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Personality Disorder, Questions, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Weight Loss, 1
So this is where I’ll start by telling you my situation, Blog number 1. Here goes: I’m not even...
Oh I am sorry :/ the world can be cruel. I hope you are able to find something really soon. Also I love rhcp.