Not so bad today.  The malfunction light on my car went on.  Prior to this I had to change out the battery.  My car also got broken into last week.  Thankfully I am well versed in not keeping anything valuable in my car.  Still such a violation.  I don't have very good luck with cars.

Sometimes I feel like I was born under a bad sign.  Then I wonder if I accumulate these misfortunes by not being  more positive.  Or maybe it is just chaos and I am being too self centered.  God damn it, what is it?  Something or someone tell me why why why?  (Shakes fist in the air)

For a long time I believed myself to be an old soul.  Not so much anymore.  I keep making mistakes.  I'm perpetually asking why the stove is hot while sticking my hand on the burner.  Maybe I am an old soul and I did some messed up shit in another life.  Or, once again, I am reading into things too much

  I saw pictures of my girlfriends online today.  They looked so happy.  I started to cry.  I miss my friends so much.  Living so far away from them is so f-ing hard.  At times I feel like I have no one to relate to, except for him.  But he is so self-involved lately I feel depleted even trying to talk to him.  I need to get out, this is so unhealthy.  But I don't have many people close to me.  Perhaps I need to show more initiative.  I can become lazy when I am anxious.  Follow thru feels like such an effort when I am stressed.

This feeling of things never being less stressful comes on in waves.  Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.  Thank you Coppola, thank you.