I’m not sure why I am writting a blog. I guess it is like journaling, and I need to get my thoughts down in black and white so I can see where I am at.
Out-patient therapy has been a little more helpful these last couple of days and so I hope to continue on with the outpatient therapies until I get stronger and can fend for myself outside of four hours of therapy every morning. I’m having a difficult time tracking down a therapist that is going to accept what my Humana Insurace pays without receiving the co-pays. I keep plugging away each day doing what little I feel up too pursuing. I have a few leads but nothing definitive is happening.
Each day after outpatient therapy, I run a couple of errands and make a couple of phone calls and that’s it. I feel drained and a little hopeless. I miss the heck out of my laptop (which was confiscated by the local police). I came to the library today too check my emails and because I was bored at home and wanting to get out.
I have dug a deep deep hole for myself and currently can’t see my way out. It feels like I am feeling my way around in the dark. I keep reminding myself that I really don’t know what anything is for, and that God/Holy Spirit will fill in the gaps for me as I go along.
If only I could have avoided being arrested and having my laptop and money confiscated. I miss my computer dearly at home. On the upside, I am being forced to get out of my apartment more often. But I don’t have any money to do anything (like fix my car or see the dentist to get my teeth fixed).
I feel more trapped than ever right now…I need and want to move into a cheaper apartment. My car is on the verge of some serious problems if I don’t get it fixed soon ( I need two new rotors, two new belts, two new tires, and my left front turning signal fixed).
I hate this blog…it is filled with a ton of negativity and hopelessness.