Sept. 13th

School has been back for 7 days now, not counting the weekends. To be perfectly honest, even with it being all online-it has been hell for me. They’ve made it even more structured than last year. I had freedom last year to where I only had three live sessions online. The classes themselves would flip depending on the day but now they have set classes for certain times such as this:

World language 8:00-9:00

Math 9:00-10:00

History 10:30-11:30

Science 11:30-12:30

English 1:00-2:00

Elective 1 2:00-2:30

Elective 2 2:30-3:00

That’s not exact on the times but pretty close. Blocked in so there is barely enough time to pee let alone have mental breakdowns, panic attacks, and whatever else is thrown my way. It helps that even though they say, for example a class ends at 9:00, it actually ends around 8:50.

My only problem with this is the fact that not only is it extremely strict. It’s flawed too. Being a senior, I have all the credits needed for history, science, and world language. However I did need to take algebra 2 this year instead of last year. and I also have to use up one of my elective to fill part of math credit that I hadn’t completed.

So I end up having 2 math classes, and because my electives fall under history I also have 2 history classes as well as 2 english classes (one required, the other an elective) So nearly every time slot of live online class connect sessions I have, I am double booked for. They are still trying to make arrangements so I don’t have to miss classes. But currently I’ve been trying to multi task and have two people at once. I mute one and listen to the other, and I switch back and forth depending on who has something more important going. It’s not easy. The teachers like you to interactive and use your microphone and/or type in the chat box answering questions. Other times I just watch one class live and watch the recording of the other later and I have to fill out a slip of information I learned as proof I watched it. I don’t prefer to go to the live sessions unless it’s for my creative writing class because most days I’m too distracted or sick for the anxiety or depression, sometimes both.

Often times I get obsessed with checking the course page. Its a page that shows all the classes I’m taking and I have to go through them one by one everyday. On each course page it tells you what is due that day, what assignments, quizzes or tests there are. I get overwhelmed by it as I did last year too. I can never keep track despite my obsession with checking each day. Even on the weekends I check too sometimes to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s frustrating because no matter how hard I try to stay on top of things I manage to get behind.

There is an area that shows a total of how many times you’ve looked at the classes (not each call individually, as a collective whole, all of them). Today I haven’t checked it as much but it says I have checked 236 times within 8 days. I don’t check an even amount of days but that’s not too bad I don’t believe. My mom saw it once by mistake and laughed asking if I have checked classes 98 times. That was after 3 days of school I believe. I laughed saying it did seem a bit excessive. I think everyone must be though because things are changing pretty frequently on the class pages.

Anyway I was disappointed on the first day of school because I had requested an archaeology class and my counselor told me I could take it. That was last May we had set this up. And August 8th she set an email telling all my classes were confirmed and I could see what semester I would be taking certain classes.

Well the first day back (Sep. 5th day after labor day) I didn’t see archaeology in my courses, I saw geography. Which was really odd and irritating especially since the year before I switched to online school I had to take a course with a really unpleasant teacher called WorldHistory/Geography. But apparently it didn’t count as if I had taken geography since it was mixed with world history. I did miserable in that class, not only did I not like the content but that was the time of my very serious break down. Leading me to do online school. I was always absent and passed the class with a c. Now I have to relive all that. Because apparently no one decided to tell me that archaeology was no longer available because they couldn’t get a teacher for the class…? Really? I’ve never heard such bull in my life. Oh and it doesn’t help that I have another really bad teacher. She taught me in economics last year and was a real pill. Made it near impossible to get information and graded unfairly. That’ll be another entry for another time. I could write a book on that woman. I had such nice teachers that year, other than her.

I shook it off by the next day which was surprising considering how angry about it I was. Anyway for this semester I have

Algebra 2

Consumer math

British Literature

Creative Writing

Geography

Sociology

I’m not looking forward to dealing with British literature. It’s all stuff I’ve learned before-only now I have to read hamlet. Not a fan, so this will be difficult. Apparently this class wants me to do in depth projects as well. Teachers on here usually go as far as powerpoints and essays. This teachers seems to want us to do presenting projects. I don’t do well with those. Real life or not, this will be torture.

Sociology I was actually wanting so hopefully all will work out with that. The teacher seems nice too.

Consumer math looks really easy, I imagine it won’t put too much stress on me. All can be done with basic knowledge and a calculator, so far anyway.

Creative writing is something I’ve very excited for. I haven’t ever really been able to try and work on writing skills. I want to improve. I have so many ideas, most of them genius and clever borderline cheesy and odd though.

Today my mom and I were suppose to wake up first thing and go to a place called Donnas Donuts. It’s a little far from where we are but we wanted to get up early, get ready and do that. The both of us have down and stressed lately with all the school stuff and the fact our money to live on is running low. We deny our selves anything fun because we really don’t have the extra money to do it. However we are doing this one thing. But my mom didn’t sleep properly so I got all ready this morning and couldn’t even go. So I went to some classes like normal. Watched videos on people with service dogs and found a new person. Did some school work. Stressed out about all the little things as usual. The whole donut thing kind of disappointed me, something so small.

My mom finally woke up and was paying some bills and we told each other our little woes and decided we deserved some dang donuts. I declared that I would make coffee, imagine it was morning, and pretend that none of the things that happened today happened.

Update-The donuts were amazing. Date nut and the peanut cinnamon roll ones are the absolute best.