So needless to say i have yet again learned a lesson the hard way. As mentioned in the previous blog, I have been engaging in a sexual relationship with a gentleman from work as part of an "open" realtionship that my boyfriend and i have agreed on as an "experiment" of sorts.
Well needless to say, the "experiment" with the man at work has come to a close. Because of the constant exposure to him, I have started to develop a more closer bond with him in my mind than defining him as just a random fuck buddy and unfortunatly, I do not have the skills to distance myself when it comes to the sexual side of the relationship.
My boyfriend and I worked out that we still want to keep things open to experimentation, just that we both need to look outside of work and our circle of friends, since friendship seems to complicate things for the both of us. And I have figured out that although I am EXTREMELY attracted physically and sexually to the guy at work, that the obsessing over him and the issues surrounding the sexual side of the "relationship" need to stop.
We are both willing to learn and are very close and connected through open communication on all things pertaining to this. contrary to what Laura posted as a reply to my first post pertaining to this, the only jealous party would probably end up being me, BUT we have also acknowledged that this arrangment is something that is a give and take, and I need to get past my "preconditioning" of sorts about the "male" side of this arrangment. My boyfriend is very easygoing and so wonderful and understanding that I know that through all of what we experenice… I will never doubt his devotion or love for me.
It is a learning period for the both of us, but I know that we will still be by each other’s side through it all.