Life seems like a battle field that you have to fight each day. With waking up in the morning thinking of your whole day and all the things you are to do. Its seems overwhelmingly excruciating!
See I work with my family. A small family owned business. Its nice but sometimes it hurts. Dont get me wrong I love my family and I appreciate everything that they do for me but when someone you are close to and work with tells you that you have issues with your anixety and mood swings. Its hard not to have my feelings hurt or take it personal. But I do because I cant change the fact that I am who I am. How am I suspose to change so that I dont have extreme highs and horrible lows.
I think of all the things I have to do, work, things at home, paying bills, friends, love, relationships, feelings, sleeping, feeling like should I really eat this? I feel like I am taking a shot at a target and I am not even close. I feel a lost of control! I feel like my brain is overwhelming beating me with a bat. I love my Aunt, I really do but what can I say about my emotions. Well sorry to have let them out or be noticeable. And sometime I try to talk about my feelings and all I get back is go to church. Or its because you are living with your man before your married. I believe in God, but I believe it was the right time for me and my man to be together and living together. Sometimes I just want an answer of true feelings not go to church.
I feel like I have to fight myself. But if I do that then really who am I? And what side of me is gonna win?