David just left for drill for the next four days and of course I had to go and screw everything up like I always do. I looked at him standing there in his ACU’s and could not stop the tears from pouring down my face like they always do when I think about what I gave up. I know that I made him feel like crap and I honestly wasn’t trying to I just hate that he gets to wear a uniform and I don’t. It isn’t his fault. I made the decision myself. But it is the hardest one I have ever had to live with. It is not fair to me that he gets to wear that uniform and complain about how much he hates being in the millitary, and I don’t even get the option to. I gave it up so that he could stay in and now all he does is complain about it. I am not saying he should have given it up, I love him very much and I don’t regret what I did, but I don’t think he understands the impact it has on me. I want that uniform. I would be proud as can be to wear it. I would enjoy every second of training, it would be an honor to get that experience. But instead the people who get that are complaining about it, or getting trashed every second at training, or skipping out on drill because they know they will fail their UA’s. These are the pathetic people that I am surorunded by who are serving our country. Yes, America, take a look. Those soldiers that everyone adores and loves aren’t all they are cracked up to be. 90% of the ones I have met (and I know a lot of them as my step dad is a recruiter) are alcoholics and partiers who don’t care about anything else. Granted, most of them are fresh out of training too. I can only hope that maybe one day all of these people will open up their eyes and see what a blessing it is to serve your country. I wish that I could more than anything else in the world.