For the record, Im utterly lost.  I dont know what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing xbox.  Ive shut myself away in my house, unable to think of anything Id like to be doing.  I no longer have any words for anyone about anything.  My mind is just locked in this behaviour and I know its the exact opposite of what I should be doing.  I know that human beings are social creatures, I know we need the emotional and spiritual support of our peers in order to persevere through the toughest of times.  I also know that to recieve you must first give.  Thats my problem, I dont know that I have anything to give anymore.  When Im around people I find myself trapped in my own mind with absolutely nothing coming to it.  I have no interest, opinion, or personality it seems.  I cant pull myself outside of the cage ive built for myself in my mind.  I know I need to work…but I also know that noone wants to be around a zombie either.  I worry that even if i get the job they will quickly realize how antisocial ive become and cut me loose quickly.  I hate the awkward silences, and that seems to be all I can produce…I know ive been this way for years, but recently its gotten alot worse.  I finally decided to admit i have a problem and seek therapy, though I picked the absolute worst time because my insurance will end at the end of the month.  It seems everything I need to do I must do on my own.  Im putting this out there because for one if i can see my own words in front of me, It makes me remember that I do know how to communicate.  I also hope anyone can help me figure out how to rediscover myself.  I know i need to find some reason to get myself out of bed in the morning. 

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