Well today i managed to get out of bed and get moving late morning to start job hunting. Went to see my therapist today and managed to get to the bottom sorta to this past two weeks of misery. Its not a secret that im happy right now because of some of my family situation, and being single again. but the root of all would be that stress has just built up and holding it in instead of releasing. No im not cured im not fixable right now its going to take more then one therapy session to really get to the bottom of everything and to come to a middle of everything. I can deal with happiness but i know depression is always going to be there. Thank you all that sent me comments. To those of you that asked if i was on medication, Yes ive been on medication since i was 16 yrs old. okay well on and off but this past year ive been on it daily because i know i need to take my medication, its finding the right one for me thats the problem, medication managment is much needed and finding the right one that will work i have tried three different medications over the past year. I need to find one that is right for me. anyway. so today i took my nephew and spent the afternoon with him. kept me busy and helped me keep my mind off things at the moment. He will be going to bed in a few hours and my daughter will be heading to bed in a few hours as well then i will be alone with my thoughts. thats when the night becomes dark and miserable. well gotta finish cooking dinner. Yes i cooked dinner tonight. and it feels cook to actually cook a meal for my daughter and nephew if i eat thats another question. well off to the kitchen. talk to all soon. thanks again to everyone. I need a different kind of support system. One outside my comfort zone one that understands me. Thank you all..