Life has a way if kicking your ass but with all that is going on with me I am handling it and am very proud of myself. I have always thought of myself as a weak person and hated change but lately I have come to realize that I handle things pretty damn good.

I have not been around AT much because things have been tough. My husband got layed off in December and could not find work where we live. We were so broke it was not funny. I never thought at this age I would face this again.

A job opportunity came up in Edmonton, where my husbands family lives so we packed up and came to stay with my mother in-law so my husband could work. We were here only a week and my mother in-law got sick. She had to have emergency surgery and because she has a heart and lung condition the doctors told us that it was a very risky operation. She has been in ICU now for a month. She is on a breathing machine and it is breaking my heart. They have every hope that she will recover but it will be slow. She is such a wonderful person and like a mother to me.

I hate to see the pain on the faces of my husband and his siblings and there really is not much I can do to ease their suffering. My one sister in-law has been a royal pain in the ass, which makes all this harder to deal with. I have lost my parents as well and all this does bring back some disturbing memories. 

I have my moments when I look at her laying in that bed and freak the fuck out wondering if some day that will be me. I hate that I do that and I feel so selfish for it.

All in all though I have handled things well. Of course I have my moments but with such big changes going on I am doing pretty good.

My husband likes his job and within 4 months it is possible to transfer back to our home. I can't wait. I miss home so much.

Amazing what you can do when push comes to shove. Have hope people!

 

 

1 Comment
  1. Sweetsolitude 15 years ago

    Good to see you blogging again, Mags ! Sorry about your misfortunes.

    You are much stronger than you think, and have always given me good councel – please feel free to use me for the same.

    Hugs,

    Bill

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