I’ve had a lot of time to really think about what’s going on with me and around me. Recently, interactions with doctors, case managers and a few others in the mental health proffession has really made me question they way people think about people who suffer with mental illness. WE’RE THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE!! We may just he a little more sensitive to our environment. I’d say, we have a little more heart. Yes, we can be a little more conflicted because of overwhelming feelings but that’s just it…. We still feel. We feel fear, anger, love, hate. We are often misunderstood and passed over without a second thought. I struggle every day with anxiety and fear of being judged and the thoughts that people may have of me. So much so, that I only go out when it’s necessary. In my reflections I just had a thought that I felt the need to write down and share.
The lights are on but nobody’s home…. We’ve all heard or said that before when talking about the mental condition. Well, that’s not the case. You say, “the lights are on but nobody’s home” and just keep on walking by. We are home. We keep the lights on to try to keep the darkness from creeping ever further into the corners. We areso often afraid to come to the door. Afraid of the loud intrusive banging and the loud voices that await on the other side of that door. Afraid to open it up and see the judgemental eyes and critical stares. Often times, we are inside quietly crying out for help. Hoping to here a gentle wrap at the door and see someone carefully come through that barrier that is the door. Waiting for someone to enter our house and life and say, “it’s okay” and lend a hlping hand, a tender ear and kind words. So many times we are left alone in that house with our thoughts as our only company. Our thoughts can often be the exact opposite of what we need. So, if the lights are, gently knock on the door and ask how we’re doing.